Running: The Saga Continues

Oh running, how I love thee! Considering much of this blog has been dedicated to running and racing and training for racing, that shouldn’t be news to anyone. And in this pandemic environment of gym closures and people shaving their budgets, I’ve found more time and motivation than ever to work on my own fitness, rather than focusing on other people’s journeys. Hell, I wanted it so bad that I even went back to stroller running!

I had taken a long time off from running with the stroller. Once Addy entered preschool, I felt free to tackle my runs without her in tow, and it was delightful. As nice as my running stroller is, it’s a lot easier without it.

Then, back in the beginning of June, my old hip problem reared its ugly head again. It had been several years since I’d dealt with it, but there it was again: searing, hot pain after sitting for awhile; limping; more searing, hot pain in the middle of the night.

Sleeping with a pillow in between my knees helped, but it certainly didn’t cure it. Same thing with foam rolling, stretching, strengthening my gluteus medius, strengthening my quads, strengthening my hamstrings, etc., etc. The minute I would try running again – even run-walk methods – it would be back.

I took most of June off, and then most of July, and decided to try it again. My hip was feeling much better with time dedicated to strength-training and just walking and stretching and new shoes and what-have-you. Nope, same old searing pain, 3/4 mile into my meager 1-mile run. I should have stopped when I felt it, but of course I didn’t.

The good news: I think I figured out the culprit this time around – the stroller! It seems to have flared up when I started pushing the stroller again. I already have a sloppy gait, and I think pushing 40 pounds in front of me isn’t doing my uneven hips and over-pronating left foot any favors.

More good news: I’ve found some stretches that actually do seem to be alleviating the pain. I’m also working on ankle dorsiflexion, because mine is completely jacked.

The bad news: no more stroller running for me, which limits when I can run to afternoons and evenings; no bueno for a morning person, and no bueno for someone working retail. But hey, there’s a silver lining. Addy is supposed to be going to Pre-K this fall, as long as the powers that be open the schools. Right now, it looks like they’ll at least have a version of hybrid learning, and I’m hoping that will free me up to run while she’s out of the house!

And if not, well, I trained for my last half-marathon with essentially one run per week. So hell, this should be a piece of cake!

I Aim Big, Too

The other day at work, there was a guy standing at the entrance doing some promotional work (i.e., jumping on people as they came into the store and getting them to sign up for a subscription to a newspaper by baiting them with a gift card). I mostly ignored him, but we were both there for a couple of days and so naturally a few interactions occurred.

One of these interactions involved him telling me that he “aims big.” It was in the context of his career. He was bragging about the traveling he gets to do, and how moving is no big deal. He implied that people who are afraid to move are okay with being average. I politely disagreed with him, saying that not everyone needs to “aim big” to feel fulfilled. And I told him that I used to “aim big,” and now I have different priorities. He said I was wrong and should continue to “aim big.”

Wait but why?

The career I was rising in brought a lot of stress into my life. I felt burnt out quite often. It was hard to be “on” all the time. I am friendly and talkative, so people mistakenly think I’m extroverted; I am introverted and feel drained by interactions with people. Climbing back into solitude and quiet is always a relief. Working in an office with all its social politics was not a good fit for me either.

And then I moved into personal training. Like so many others, being thrust into this life-altering pandemic has allowed me to see that perhaps that wasn’t the right choice, either. It’s difficult to feel confident in an industry that is largely based on physical appearance when you have body image hang-ups. And honestly? I feel like even if I was 100% okay with the way my body looks, there are not many people out there who are going to hire a personal trainer with no muscle definition who’s packing some extra squish. I watched trainer after trainer sign on client after client, but I struggled to get any clients at all. I took job after job and was working five jobs but still just barely keeping my head above water. And it was really hard not to take it personally.

So here I am, once again working retail, but feeling fine with it. Hell, even feeling joyful! Working a job that is 90% stress-free allows me to focus on my family and my home. Circling back to this conversation, it was hard for me to imagine what “aiming big” would mean right now. I have my family, my dream home, I’m living where I want to live, and I have everything I need and want.

Do you know what the difference is between me and Mr. Aim Big? I’m shifting my focus to gratitude and fulfillment, and he’s still focused on lack. He thinks there’s something better around the corner, but I’m learning that you can see the abundance around you in every moment, and be grateful for it. I used to be a lot like him, thinking that hard work would be the only thing that would turn my life in the direction I wanted. Now I’m learning that there are better ways.

I aim big, too. I aim big by taking walks outside and appreciating the flowers, insects, animals and clouds I see. I aim big by enjoying the different colors and flavors of the fresh vegetables in my meals. I aim big by laughing and talking with my dearest friends, and spending uninterrupted time with my family. I aim big by meditating and connecting each day with my higher self, letting her be my guide to inner calm. I aim big by being grateful for the wonderful life I already have, the one I live each and every day.