This poor, poor blog. I’m sorry for ignoring it for so long. I’m hoping to get back into a routine soon.
I read this article on quitting recently and it made me realize it was time to quit my New Year’s resolution of daily planks and push-ups. It was no longer bringing me joy and was making me feel like a failure with each day that ticked by. I made it 40-something weeks, which is wonderful. I was able to hold a plank for 4 minutes, and I can do 13 push-ups in a row. I feel satisfied with that.
It’s been extremely difficult to run or work out at all after my half-marathon. There was an amazing vacation thrown in the mix, but I can’t blame my lack of energy on that. I deserved that week off, damn it! I’ve gone for exactly one run of two miles since my half on October 25th. I can’t seem to drag myself out of bed early in the morning, into the darkness, and into the ear-splitting wind, when there’s no race on my calendar. Running just to… run? I don’t get it.
I’ll seek to find a new balance and a new normal in December. Once visits are over and food has been eaten, I’ll try to get back into it.
I completely forgot about watching American Horror Story last night but when I woke up at 2:30am and couldn’t sleep, something urged me to get up and sit on the couch. “Oh yeah, my show is on!” I thought. I caught it 10 minutes in and marveled to myself, “As much as I love Jessica Lange, the Countess was meant to be played by Lady Gaga. No one else could have done it justice.” Quite frankly, I haven’t missed Jessica Lange this season, and I was broken-hearted that she left. Last night’s episode really gave a dimension to the Countess that I knew was there but had yet to experience. I am, and will remain, a dedicated Little Monster.
I haven’t watched Empire in two weeks, either. I’m missing out on everything!
Last night I had a vivid dream starring the last person to break up with me. I groveled even in my dream… and even in my dream, she was a back-biting bitch. Like, “Fine, I guess I’ll let you back in but I don’t see why I should. Now help me do my chores!”
After my show, I went back to sleep and had part two of the dream, in which she read my blog and left angry voicemails on my phone, saying, “I can’t believe you wrote that about me!” It had something to do with me telling a homeless person my problems – none of which had to do with her.
The universe is telling me that it’s good for my soul not to be involved with this person right now. Logically, I know this to be true; illogically (emotionally), it’s hard to swallow – not untruthful, just hard to swallow.