Do you — or did you ever — have a Best Friend? Do you believe in the idea of one person whose friendship matters the most?
I ponder, write about and put a lot of energy toward friendship in my life. There’s a stellium in my 11th house – the House of Friends – in my natal chart, indicating the important role of friends in my life. I am a firm believer in friends as family; sometimes, your blood relatives don’t have your best interests at heart but you know your friends will have your back.
I do have a best friend, but I’ve had several throughout my life, and I imagine I’ll have several more as the years progress. Friendships ebb and flow like everything else, and become complicated at times, and smooth out when they need to. I tend to fall deeply, madly in friend-love with someone and become jealous when the feelings aren’t reciprocated – sort of like: “Well, you’re my best friend, so why aren’t I yours?!”
Nothing is worse than a friend break-up, especially for an obsessive person like myself. I’ve spent more time pining over lost friends than boyfriends, that’s for sure. Wondering who they’re with, if they’re thinking of me, if they’re putting any energy into thinking about what went wrong. To this day I think about reaching out to some of the good friends I’ve lost touch with, but the good ol’ fear of rejection prevents me from doing so.
Do I believe in one friendship that matters the most? No, I don’t. I believe each friendship has its own unique strength or even just its own special reason for being. I have a friend I never need to explain myself to, we just “get” each other, and we spent the 3rd and 4th of July texting Seinfeld quotes to each other. I have a friend who’s always there for me, knows most of my secrets and will definitely be an aunty to my future children. I have a friend who always makes me feel better because she’s such a sunny, wonderful person to be around. And I have a friend who knows to put his arms around me and just listen when I’m sobbing on the couch.
Life is easier with friends.
My friends, you are all the best. I will not single you out. I will not declare one best friend because you’ve all been the best to me at different times.